One day in 1956 a young woman – me, Irene - answered a classified ad in the New York Times for an East Side apartment. She was currently living in a closet sized room in the Barbizon Hotel for Women, while Jack, her soon to be ex husband, remained in Brooklyn with Rick, their six old son - being looked after by his baby sitter, Mabel. He called her Mommy Mabel.

At this generally pre-feminist time, I worked as a textile designer in Manhattan. 

My objective was to find a suitable one bedroom space for myself and Rick while making history of his father, who never wanted kids in the first place. But accidents happen – more on that later.

Miraculously, there was a vacancy for five and a half rooms at a good address and a perfect rent-controlled price – less than $200 a month. Can you believe it? 

As I recall, it was a holiday weekend – Memorial Day? The management staff was vacationing, the office represented by a kid who apparently didn’t know that there was a long waiting list of people for deals like that who would gladly pay “under the table” for preference. Ignorance is bliss. I put my furniture in storage, Rick spent the summer in sleep-away camp, and I moved in with a cot, a card table, plus a couple of folding chairs, pots and pans. 

Flash forward 57 years. 

I could write a book about what these walls have witnessed. So be it - I guess I am actually doing just that. 

 IF THESE WALLS COULD TALK! 

The Ricky Years

 The Arnold Years

The Carol Years

The Ira Years

The Suited For Success/SuitAbility Years

The Declining Years

The Redecorating Years

The Entrepreneurial Years

The “First Step” Years 

SINCE NONE OF THIS IS YET WRITTEN, IT IS NOT CARVED IN STONE; SOURCED ONLY IN THE ERRATIC RECOLLECTIONS OF MY MIND.

 For now I shall restrict myself to the present. 

I WILL TELL MY TRUTH, AS BEST I RECALL IT.

THE ESSENCE IS ACCURATE. THE REST IS IRRELEVANT. 

SO I AM LEAVING THIS PLACE I CALLED HOME FOR MOST OF MY LIFE FOR AN AS YET UNKNOWN DESTINATION. IT IS AN ADVENTURE FILLED WITH UNCERTAINTY AND APPREHENSION.

ANTICIPATION SPICED WITH A BIT OF FEAR. 

 Now that I have accepted the inevitability of such drastic change, I recall that moving to a new residence ranks – stress-wise – up there with death of a loved one, divorce, serious illness and other perceived losses in life.

 My preference is to regard this process as fraught with opportunity. I shall focus as much as possible on this window of opportunity through which I leave the past behind, taking with me only that which I wish to live with at the moment, space permitting. Much I shall sell or give away. It is time for a new mood, a fresh palette, remembering a brief motto I wrote.

 THINK NEWLY. THINK CLEARLY. THINK TRULY.

 Also the sage advice of William Morris;

 “HAVE NOTHING IN YOUR HOUSES THAT YOU DO NOT KNOW TO BE USEFUL OR BELIEVE TO BE BEAUTIFUL.”

In this wayI shall literally move into my future, knowing that when Elizabeth departs the throne, she will leave her crown and BuckinghamPalace to a new generation, (Weep not for Liz – the Halls of Heaven hold far more value!)

DIVINITY MUST DESTROY IN ORDER TO RE-CREATE. THE SYMBOL WHICH I SHALL ADOPT AS MY NEW LOGO IS THAT MOST MAGNIIFICENT OF CREATURES, THE PHOENIX, WHICH RITUALLY BURNS ITSELF TO ASHES; THEN EMERGES GLORIOUSLY AS A SYMBOL OF REBIRTH.

“BEHOLD, I MAKE ALL THINGS NEW.”
REVELATION  21:5

My son has two dogs. My daughter has two cats. So that is the best I can claim in the grandchildren department. Most of my friends are my children’s’ ages – certainly old enough to have produced descendants, yet oddly – like me – mostly interested in creations of the mind and spirit.

Though certainly I respect the adoration and pride grandparents experience for their offspring’s offspring, there is not an ounce of envy in my heart; indeed some of these very doting people confess that one of the perks of grandparenting is sending the young ones home to mom and dad at the end of a visit.

Having stated my status, I will now relate a most pleasurable afternoon I recently spent as proxy grandma to three Asian kids!

The backstory begins in Singapore a couple of years ago, when my dear friend Rebecca Low, a speech coach and motivational speaker, invited me to co-present three workshops with her at the National University of Singapore. Rebecca graciously extended the trip to include several weeks of visiting and sightseeing. During this time the staff involved at NUS was most helpful and hospitable.

One lovely woman, Ily Tang , and I formed a bond that later continued via email. Last November she wrote to tell me that she and her husband, Wee Wah, would be visiting Princeton and other Eastern universities in connection with their work as part of a student exchange program. They would be bringing their three sons, Niken, aged fifteen, Nimoe, twelve, and Nizon, three and one-half. Could they come for tea? Of course! What do the boys like to eat? Sweets. The date was set for Dec.1^st.

Fortunately my apartment is designed so that I use the second bedroom as a den, complete with sleep sofa, coffee table for refreshments and all-important TV set.

MY CONCERNS CONCERNING ENTERTAINMENT FOR THE BOYS WAS FOR NAUGHT. EITHER NIKON OR NIMOE TOOK OVER THE REMOTE AND THE THREE SETTLED IN TO WATCH THEIR FAVORITES WITHOUT INTERFERENCE FROM THEIR PARENTS OR ME. SNACKS WERE ARRANGED ON A WICKER TRAY TABLE. NOTHING EASIER!

THE GROWNUPS GATHERED ROUND THE ROUND DINETTE TABLE TO SIP TEA AND SNACK ON PINWHEEL SANDWICHES AND ASSORTED GOODIES.

NOT A PEEP FROM NIKON, NIMOE OR NIZON!

THE ONLY OUTBURST OF THE AFTERNOON CAME FROM THREE AND A HALF YEAR OLD NIZON WHEN ONE OF HIS BROTHERS TRIED TO REMOVE AN IPHONE CLENCHED IN HIS TINY FIST. OH YES, HE KNEW EXACTLY HOW IT WORKED!

NOW I ASK YOU TO IMAGINE THIS SCENARIO WITH THREE AVERAGE AMERICAN YOUNGSTERS.

I’ve chosen to use this visit as an illustration to talk about basic cultural differences I've observed and experienced between Eastern and Western norms of interpersonal relations. Perhaps it is best noticed at opposite poles of the age spectrum.

If I had to sum it up in a word, that word would be RESPECT.

I respectfully submit three vignettes, well aware that all rules have exceptions.

PLACE: A NYC BUS
Nanny occupies a seat while next to her sits a three year old. Elders, some infirm, stand; usually too embarrassed to request that nanny hold her non-paying charge on her lap so a senior can sit.

PLACE: A CITY SIDEWALK
Several young mothers pushing prams form a barricade across the sidewalk, forcing pedestrians into traffic in order to pass.

PLACE: A RESTAURANT
Diners looking forward to a pleasant meal and good conversation are instead treated to the howls of an infant, whose parents unapologetically allow everyone to share their domestic disturbance as if the family were eating at home.

The same holds true for tipsy, loud voiced adults, perhaps the same ones who believe that to be heard one must shout into a cell phone.

HERE ARE A FEW PITHY REMARKS TO ADD TO MY OWN

I have a respect for manners as such; they are a way of dealing with people you don’t agree with or like.
Margaret Mead

Fine manners need the support of fine manners in others.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any.
Fred Astaire

SPOKEN AS AN OUTSPOKEN GRANDMA FOR A DAY

---

 

Recently a friend undertook the daunting task of, inch by inch; spring-cleaning her compact apartment with the intent of discarding what was neither wanted nor needed, then assigning each object a place of its own. Until, of course, the next catharsis.

It’s a system that works on a lot of levels. As I empathized with her arduous endeavor, we explored the inherent blessings lurking in the process of choice.

One of us – or maybe both – burst out with

”BLESS THIS MESS!!!”

MESSES COME IN ALL SHAPES AND SIZES AS WELL AS DIMENSIONS – PHYSICAL, MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL CLUSTERS OF THOUGHT AND CONDITIONS.

ALL CONGESTION IS DEFINED/CONFINED BY OPINION: OUR OWN, AND THOSE OF SOCIETY, FAMILY AND FRIENDS.
 SOLICITED OR OTHERWISE.

SOME SYNONYMS FOR MESS ARE CHAOS, CLUTTER AND CONFUSION.

 SOME OPPOSITE CONDITIONS ARE CLARITY, CLEANLINESS AND CONGRUENCE,
WHICH ENCOMPASS THE EXACT REQUIREMENTS NEEDED BY THE MIND THAT CREATED THE MESS, IN ORDER TO CORRECT THE CONDITION.

THIS IS SOMETHING OF A CATCH-22, CONSIDERING THAT ALBERT EINSTEIN FAMOUSLY CLAIMED THAT NO PROBLEM COULD BE SOLVED BY THE MIND THAT CREATED IT.

BREAKDOWN PRECEDES BREAKTHROUGH

This is a widely held axiom which corresponds to the observation that it is always darkest before the dawn.

 I cannot vouch for the source or scientific accuracy of this adage, though based purely on personal experience it proves reliable.

One can be in a mess without being in a stew, though a stew qualifies by definition as sort of a mess – assorted ingredients randomly cooked together. So it appears that life, contrary to appearances, is arranged according to unseen logic and unknown connections, mirroring and determined by who knows what. Just as pulling on a particular strand of yarn might unravel a knotted sweater, so might a seeming mistake inadvertently prove to form an integral piece of the pattern.

WHO AMONG US IS SUFFICIENTLY WISE TO DISCERN KERNELS OF TRUTH TOSSED IN THE TRASH ALONG WITH THE RUBBISH? BECAUSE OUR VISION IS 20/20 MOSTLY IN HINDSIGHT, UPON REQUEST WE ARE GRANTED THE GRACE OF DIVINE GUIDANCE TO GLEAN THE WHEAT FROM THE CHAFF.

As my friend, beginning at any arbitrary point, muddled through her stuff, seeking harmonic arrangements, she, as a student of human potential, was most likely aware of following dictates of discernment from her Higher Self.

As I contemplate possible outcomes of certain life altering scenarios playing out currently in the theater of my ego mind, I have choices. If I believe the terrifying images on the screen of my mental observation to be Truth, merely watching them may be too fearful to contemplate. If I deny my perception, I crown myself Queen of De-nial, risking my sanity.

If I choose instead to acknowledge my predicament as an opportunity to invoke the protective presence of my Highest Self, designer and co-creator with God, I can then elect to learn whatever lessons are prescribed for graduation with honors from this earthly correctional institution.

The Mind that will lead me to a higher level of understanding sees the entire panorama of purpose from a vantage point that encompasses All. Picture yourself standing in a throng of celebrants on New Years’ Eve, each vying for the best viewpoint from which to watch the festivities. The jostling of the crowd determines and distorts every attempt to see clearly and move freely. Then a helicopter flies overhead. Imagine being instantly transported to its cockpit, surrounded by sound equipment, every variety of camera lens and crew members trained to anticipate and facilitate every eventuality.

YES THERE IS A GUIDANCE SYSTEM WHICH COMES FREE OF CHARGE WITH EVERY MORTAL MODEL! BLESS EVERY MESS!

HAPPY LANDINGS!

---

 

Lately there have been a couple of books about the out of body experiences of two scientists (Dr. Mary Bell – “To Heaven and Back”) and Dr. Eben Alexander - Proof of Heaven”). Both authors are neurosurgeons who have reversed their long held clinical beliefs regarding the finality of death as a result of personal experiences.

When our broken bodies and brains depart Earth for the dimension we designate as Heaven, could this be comparable to sending a totally totaled automobile back to the factory for restoration rather than to rot in a a grave/junkyard?

The car has served us faithfully, hauling us around in exchange for fuel and maintenance. What if vehicles were rewarded with a chance to rest, a new carcass (pun intended) and an opportunity for further service?

IS IT POSSIBLE THAT OUR DIVINE CREATOR IS SO SHORT SIGHTED AS TO FASHION A COMPLEX MULTI-FACETED BEING SUCH AS MAN – TO SAY NOTHING OF THE INTRICACIES OF FEMININE WILES AND WISDOM - THEN TOSS IT ASIDE FOR AN UNSEASONED MODEL? WHY WOULD HE/SHE PUT SUCH A LIMITED SHELF LIFE ON LIFE?

NO DOCTOR OR MIDWIFE EVER OBSERVED AN EXPIRATION DATE STAMPED ON ANY BABYS FOOT. WHEN THE BABYS’ BOD WEARS OUT, COULD

IT GO BACK TO THE FACTORY FOR RENEWAL?

THIS MAKES AN EXCELLENT CASE FOR RECYCLING!

IT IS CALLED REINCARNATION!

In previous blogs I have referred to perhaps the original major influence of my life, a book I received as a young child titled JIJI LOU, subtitled “The Story of a Cast-Off Doll”, by Luline Bowles Mayol. The narrative tells how Jiji Lou, a rag doll who had seen better days, along with a broken china dog named Nebs, were tossed into a garbage can because their mistress’ nurse had deemed them a disgrace to the nursery.

They were rescued by Jenks the Junkman and taken to Junkland, a haven for cast-off toys, where all arrivals were restored to original condition by the Make-over Man.

Newly inspired, Jiji Lou and Nebs make a pumpkin home for all the baby dolls in Junkland!

 IT CANNOT BE MERE CHANCE THAT ONE OF MY PROFESSIONS WAS IMAGE CONSULTING. I PROVIDED GUIIDANCE FOR CLIENTS DESIRING MORE SUCCESSFUL CAREERS BY ADJUSTING THEIR DRESS AND DEMEANOR. LATER, I FOUNDED A NONPROFIT ORGANIZATION (SUITABILTY) WHICH ASSISTED DISADVANTAGED WELFARE RECIPIENTS AND AT-RISK YOUTH TOWARD FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE AND IMPROVED SELF-ESTEEM.

JIJI LOU REMAINS MY ROLE MODEL AS I REINVENT MYSELF FOR PERHAPS THE SIXTH TIME. NOW I CALL MYSELF A LIFE TRANSITION COUNSELOR.

ANOTHER MENTOR FROM GREEK MYTHOLOGY IS PERSEPHONE, BELOVED DAUGHTER OF DEMETER, GODDESS OF THE GRAIN. AS PERSEPHONE GATHERED FLOWERS IN A FIELD, PLUTO, GOD OF THE UNDERWORLD WAS SMITTEN WITH HER BEAUTY AND ABDUCTED HER TO HIS DARK UNDERWORLD KINGDOM. PLUTO EVENTUALLY STRUCK A BARGAIN WITH THE INCONSOLABLE DEMETER, PERMITTING PERSEPHONE TO DIVIDE HER TIME BETWEEN EARTH AS DEMETERS’ DUTIFUL DAUGHTER, BRINGING SPRING AND SUMMER, AND HADES, WHERE SHE REIGNED AS QUEEN OF THE UNDERWORLD, LEAVING EARTH BARREN IN AUTUMN AND WINTER.

IN YOUTH I WAS MAMAS’ LITTLE GIRL. IN MY VERSION OF PERSEPHONE'S STORY, I SEDUCED PLUTO AND WILLINGLY WENT WITH HIM TO HADES, HIS HOME. HADES IS A METAPHOR FOR THE SUBCONSCIOUS, WHERE I LEARNED TO NAVIGATE ITS’ SECRETS AND MYSTERIES, MATURING INTO A WISE WOMAN AND GUIDE.

In today’s’ culture, many Persephone women attempt to remain “The Eternal Girl”, as she was called, reluctant to recognize that wilted flowers are dead. Only by burying their innocence, can women embrace mature wisdom, finding a deeper joy in new roles as national treasures and trendsetters for upcoming generations.

JIJI LOU’S STORY BEGINS WITH A POEM IN THE PREFACE OF HER BOOK:

Now, Jiji Lou was a cast-off doll.
And her troubles, you must admit,
Were many and great,
But she’d never state
That she was aware of it.

And Jiji Lou was a shabby doll,
And her clothes were faded and torn,
But she never grumbled
And never groaned,
 And she never looked forlorn.

And Jiji Lou was a homeless doll,
And as timid as a mouse,
But she worked with a will
And a smile until
She had built a pumpkin house.

She was always happy, she always smiled,
She was always brave and true,
She was kind, she was good,
She did all that she could,

Now, that’s a lesson for you.

 

AREN'T WE AS A SPECIES WORTH AT LEAST AS MUCH AS JUNK?

I am literally starting this blog over. Having written a hundred words or so under the title “Shifting Sands" – then saving it to be continued after doing further research on my subject – I returned to find the file had "vanished”. Since this is technically impossible, I figured the blog was hiding in plain sight, signaling that Plan B would fare better; a different title...a new beginning.

Plan A was to talk about the shifting sands of time, inspired by the prophesies of the ancient Mayan calendar, which many assumed predicted the End of Time on December 21, 2012. Since the sun rose once more on December 22, clearly there was need for an alternate interpretation.

Though our topic remains essentially the same, let’s assume that, rather than the prediction of an apocalypse actually happening, destroying our physical universe, the end of the world meant the demise of long held, cherished and finally – at last – obsolete belief systems.

IT’S GOOD NEWS FOR THE GALS! ACTUALLY IT’S GOOD NEWS FOR THE GUYS TOO. AFTER CENTURIES OF MASCULINE DOMINANCE, THIS CHANGE SIGNIFIES A BALANCE OF YIN AND YANG RATHER THAN THE OPPRESSOR/OPPRESSEE RELATIONSHIP OF THE WAR BETWEEN THE SEXES.

SCHOLAR, LECTURER AND AUTHOR DR. JEAN HOUSTON, AMONG MANY OTHERS, HAS SPOKEN AND WRITTEN EXTENSIVELY ABOUT THIS SHIFTING PARADIGM, RECENTLY UNDER THE AUSPICES OF “WOMEN ON THE EDGE OF EVOLUTION.”

EXAMINING MY OWN BELIEF SYSTEM FOR CONSISTENCY AND LOOPHOLES, I AM NOW HOLDING PREVIOUS ASSUMPTIONS TO THE LIGHT FOR FURTHER EXAMINATION; FOR INSTANCE; DO I REALLY STILL BELIEVE THAT ONE MUST ENDURE PAINFUL CHALLENGES TO GROW SPIRITUALLY? ON REFLECTION, I AM WILLING TO LOOSEN MY MINDS’ GRIP ON THE ACCURACY OF THIS AXIOM! IT IS NOW CARVED IN CLAY RATHER THAN STONE;

CLAY IS EASILY DISSOLVED.

Oscar Hammerstein said it as well as anyone in his superb lyric sung by the King in “The King and I”:

 

There are times I almost think

Nobody sure of what he absolutely know.

Everybody find confusion

In conclusion he concluded long ago

And it puzzle me to learn

That tho’ a man may be in doubt of what he know,

Very quickly he will fight…

He’ll fight to prove that what he does not know is so!

 …..is a puzzlement!

 

SO IF THE STRUCTURES WE GREW UP BELIEVING TO BE SOLID AND EVERLASTING SHIFT WITH THE SANDS OF TIME, PERHAPS WE CAN LOOK FOR HOPE IN THE WORDS OF IRA GERSHWIN:

TAKING A PAGE FROM ONE OF IRA AND GEORGE GERSHWINS’  WORKS FROM THE “GREAT AMERICAN SONGBOOK”, “OUR LOVE IS HERE TO STAY”, LET’S TWEAK THE MEANING OF THE MESSAGE FROM ROMANTIC TO AGAPE (SPIRITUAL) LOVE, SINCE AN EVERLASTING CONCEPT OF COMMITMENT IN RELATIONSHIPS  IS NOW ALL BUT EXTINCT:

 

 It’s very clear; our love is here to stay.

Not for a year but ever and a day.

The radio and the telephone and the movies that we know

May just be passing fancies and in time may go.

But oh, my dear, our love is here to stay.

Together we’re going a long,

long way.

In time the Rockies may crumble, Gibraltar may tumble

They’re only made of clay,

But our love is here to stay.

 

WALKING ON SHIFTING SANDS FEELS INSECURE. TO STAY UPRIGHT ONE MUST SHIFT IN ACCORDANCE WITH WHAT IS UNDERFOOT. IT’S LIKE DOWNHILL SKIING, WHERE LEGS AND HIPS SWAY AND KNEES BEND TO ACCOMMODATE THE MOMENTUM OF THE SLOPE, PREVENTING THE TUMBLE THAT RIGIDITY AND RESISTANCE WOULD CAUSE.

THIS NEW ERA – THIS NEW BEGINNING – BECOMES DANGEROUS IN DIRECT PROPORTION TO THE FEAR/RESISTANCE WE BRING TO THE ADVENTURE. WE MUST LEARN TO ACHIEVE BALANCE AND HARMONY IN OUR LOCAL AND GLOBAL COMMUNITIES.

ALWAYS KNOWING THAT DIVINITY HAS OUR BACK!

---

 

Lately I have been concerned - I refuse to say worried – so OK – worried - about a seemingly threatening issue. Though experience has repeatedly taught that rescue always arrives in the nick of time from an unexpected direction, this dark cloud hovered above me, dark and foreboding disaster. At such times I follow my own rules, keep calm, retreat to my safe center, my position of witness - using the promises of Psalm 91 as a protective buffer.

These words came to me Thanksgiving morning as I huddled under the covers:

I say to you:
Fear not.
Go to the Light.
Light is Love.

Your errors are forgiven.
All is forgotten.
You are Free.

More wisdom continued.

Dwell in the Light of Certainty.

FEAR is IGNORANCE.

 My animals have taught me so much. I remember my eight pound Pekinese, Princess Yin, as a precocious pup, afraid of nothing until one evening she burst into agitated barking. Upon investigation, the object of her terror turned out to be a nightshirt that to her must have had a frightening shape, which I had hung over the bathtub to dry. I took it down and she saw that it presented no threat.

 Yinnie understood that it was harmless.

Children learn early on that Halloween witches and the fearsome Wizard of Oz exist only for their entertainment.

Boogie men are easily banished by nightlights.

 Indra, a close friend and fellow traveler, offered this instruction as a ritual which can help change a worried, non-productive mindset:

Gather documents representative of your dilemma(s).

Place them beneath a lit light (lamp, candle) of your choice.

Tell them that they are returning to the light of Enlightenment.

Bless them on their way.

Fugetaboutit!!!

OUR MINDS OPERATE SOMEWHAT LIKE WATER FILTERS WHICH ARE DESIGNED TO ELIMINATE ELEMENTS DETERMINED BY THE EGO TO BE DETRIMENTAL TO ITS’ AGENDA.

IN RECENT TIMES PAST TO THE PRESENT; PHOTOGRAPHERS PLACED FILTERS ON THEIR CAMERAS WHICH ALTERED EFFECTS OF COLOR AND LIGHT UPON SUBJECTS. IN THIS DIGITAL AGE, VISUAL RESULTS ARE LARGELY CONTROLLED BY HUMANS USING COMPUTER PROGRAMS.

MEMORIES OF PAST EVENTS EFFECTIVELY SCREEN OUR PERFORMANCE, FORMING A BLUEPRINT FOR FUTURE PATTERNS OF BEHAVIOR. EVERYONE SEES THE PRESENT IN HIS/HER LIGHT OF THEIR INDIVIDUAL PAST, ENSURING MORE OF THE SAME CONDITIONS AND CIRCUMSTANCES.

IT IS GENERALLY RECOGNIZED BY BEHAVIORAL PSYCHOLOGISTS THAT REPETITIVE BEHAVIOR INDUCES A TENDENCY TOWARD REPETITION. THIS CAN BE CONFIRMED BY OBSERVATION:

IF YOU ALWAYS DO WHAT YOU ALWAYS DID,
 YOU WILL ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU ALWAYS GOT.

THE DEFINITION OF INSANITY IS DOING THE SAME THING OVER AND OVER EXPECTING A DIFFERENT RESULT.

Soaking in a soothing bath is one of my fave places to receive guidance; in this instance, insight for a way to reinforce the significant message of this blog. Certain that greater minds than mine must have contemplated this theme, I turned to my faithful servant, the internet.

SO THESE GEMS CROP UP:

We fear things in proportion to our ignorance of them.
Christian Nevell Bovee

 Misunderstanding arising from ignorance breeds fear, and fear remains the greatest enemy of peace.
Lester B. Pearson

 Fear always springs from ignorance.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Ignorance is the parent of fear.
Herman Melville

 LET’S GO A BIT DEEPER. “A COURSE IN MIRACLES”, (PUBLISHED BY THE FOUNDATION FOR INNER PEACE), IS BELIEVED TO HAVE BEEN DICTATED BY JESUS TO HELEN SCHUCMAN, A JEW WHO WAS ALSO AN ATHEIST WHILE SHE WAS A PROFESSOR OF MEDICAL PSYCHOLOGY AT COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY. THE TEXT CLAIMS THAT ALL EMOTIONS DERIVE FROM ONLY TWO - LOVE AND FEAR.

SCRIPTURE STATES THAT:

THERE IS NO FEAR IN LOVE. BUT PERFECT LOVE DRIVES OUT FEAR…..
John 4:18

SO CLEARLY, KNOWLEDGE BANISHES IGNORANCE ALONG WITH ITS SOURCE, FEAR,
RESTORING LOVE.

---

 

I cannot multi-task it.

PERHAPS THIS ABILITY TO SPLIT ATTENTION INTO EXECUTION OF SEVERAL DOABLE TASKS DEPENDS ON THE WAY YOUR BRAIN IS WIRED.

OR THE ASTROLOGICAL SIGN AT THE TIME AND PLACE OF YOUR BIRTH. 

OR WHETHER YOU WERE WEANED TOO EARLY FROM BREAST OR BOTTLE. WHATEVER. 

I know for a fact that my animal companion, Muffie, was taken from her mom’s teat before she was ready to give up sucking for chewing. Her behavior in so entrained that twelve years later, she single-mindedly goes through her morning ritual of nursing on a

 tee-shirt used specifically to simulate her unbreakable earliest pattern of snuggling up to receive nourishment from mommy. Truth be told, I as substitute parent enjoy the ritual perhaps more than she. Set for life in her kitty-wise ways, she decided that this is the only time she will allow herself to be cuddled/caressed. Satisfied, we then go our independent ways. 

Could there be a better example of single minded focus? A case for concentration? 

OMG! 

 Could this be one possible explanation for my choice to follow a creative career in the arts and let my kids get so much attention from nannies and chicken soup moms of their friends? 

I chose, in my available moments, to try to practice and instill principles of higher wisdom at an age when all they wanted (perhaps needed) was cookies and a hug! 

Today I spoke to my son, who reached adulthood decades ago and is only now beginning to accept some of his mother’s weird ideas as worthy of consideration. Matter of fact, when I reacted to one off his smarty pants remarks by pointing out that I would not be around for consultation forever (a little Jewish guilt never hurt) he called me Swami Mommy. I like to think that’s a compliment. 

When did accomplishing multiple tasks simultaneously become such a sought after skill? In times within the memory of many, the feminist movement of the 70’s freed women to take on more fulfilling and time consuming work at not yet equal pay. Replaced by washing machines, vacuum cleaners and hired help, perhaps the newly liberated woman found more meaning pounding a typewriter while pursuing and insuring her opportunity to crash through the glass ceiling. Men, for the most part, enjoyed the benefits of another paycheck. In return, daddy learned to change diapers. I, for one found the office a happy hunting ground with virtually no responsibility beyond self satisfaction.

 Divorce rates soared, mine included. 

Aside from perhaps a few impossibly perfect people who enjoy flawless relationships with their parents, partners and offspring, we are impelled to grow through courage in facing adverse conditions. 

It is said (clearly I am speaking from experience) that we learn little inside our comfort zones. Complacency frequently evolves into boredom, stagnation, and forever unexplored opportunity. Better to have failed than never to have ventured forth into the unknown! 

Situations and people whom we perceive to be our most difficult problems turn out, frequently, in hindsight, to have been  our most profound teachers. 

THE HOLY GRAIL IS AVAILABLE TO THOSE WHO PURSUE THEIR DREAM, WHETHER IT IS TO ACQUIRE WORLDLY RECOGNITION, BETTER THE LIVES OF OTHERS OR LIVE ACCORDING TO GOD’S HIGHEST PURPOSE. 

THE REALITY IS THAT NO ONE CAN SLAY DRAGONS, ATTEND PARENT’S NIGHT, AND WRITE THE GREAT AMERICAN NOVEL ALL AT ONCE.

 I GAVE MY BEST EFFORT TOWARD DOING ONE MAJOR THING AT A TIME TO THE VERY LIMIT OF MY ABILITY.   

WOULD I DO DIFFERENTLY IF OFFERED A DO-OVER?

 OF COURSE NOT!

---

 

Though “frenzied” is the only word I can think of to effectively describe activity on the Upper East Side of Manhattan the first Saturday night after hurricane Sandy’s visit, I suspect that beneath the hyperactivity generated by residents and visitors from neighboring areas was a profound sense of relief from the suspense, uncertainty and fear that in various degrees gripped many of us for most of the past week. Just knowing that light (and TV) were emerging was sufficient cause for gratitude and celebration.

During the storm and in the wake of devastation, safe and secure in my apartment, which blessedly retained its electricity, the WW2 anthem “Coming in on a Wing and a Prayer” (Harold Adamson and Jimmie McHugh) entered my consciousness, a reminder of those war torn days. The analogy was reinforced by a Saturday morning Channel 7 program hosted by charismatic weatherman Sam Champion called “Sea Rescue”, focusing on the plight and rehabilitation of wildlife. The subject was a brown pelican whose wings had been punctured by telephone wires; this creature had hung upside-down for three days. It was rescued by the fire department, then nursed back to health in an open-air facility where, when well enough to fly, it could just take off and resume its life.

“Coming in on a Wing and a Prayer” echoes the emotions of the many courageous souls whose courage kept them afloat during Sandy’s assault of water and wind. I recalled stories of wartime pilots who were guided to safety by angels; even if these claims are anecdotal, they illustrate the undeniable power of the strength of the human spirit and faith in Divine protection to overcome seemingly insurmountable obstacles.

ONE OF THE MOST POWERFUL PRAYERS OF PROTECTION IN SCRIPTURES IS PSALM 91. BECAUSE OF THE DIRE AND DESPERATE CONDITIONS THAT PREVAILED AT THIS TIME, THREATENING THE VERY SURVIVAL OF INDIVIDUALS AND INSTITUTIONS TOO BROKEN TO FIX, HERE IS THIS PSALM IN ITS’ ENTIRETY,TAKEN FROM THE KING JAMES TRANSLATION OF THE BIBLE:

 

1 He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most high shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.

2 I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress: in Him will I trust.

3 Surely He shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, and from the noisome pestilence.

4 He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under His wings shalt thou trust. His truth shall be thy shield and buckler.

5 Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night, nor for the arrow that flieth by day.

6 Nor for the pestilence that walketh in darkness; nor for the destruction that wasteth at noonday.

7 A thousand shall fall at thy side, and ten thousand at thy right hand; but it shall not come nigh thee.

8 Only with thine eyes shalt thou behold and see the reward of the wicked.

9 Because thou has made the LORD, which is my refuge, even the most High thy habitation;

10 There shall no evil befall thee, neither shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling.

11 For He shall give His angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways.

12 They shall bear thee up in their hands, lest thou dash thy foot against a stone.

13 Thou shalt tread upon the lion and adder: the young lion and the dragon shalt thou trample under feet.

14 Because he hath set His love upon me, therefore will I deliver Him: I will set Him on high, because He hath known my name.

15 He shall call upon me, and I will answer Him: I will be with Him in trouble; I will deliver Him, and honor Him.

16 With long life will I satisfy Him, and show Him my salvation.

 

THERE ARE MULTITUDES ON EARTH TODAY WHO EMPATHIZE IDENTIFY WITH THE PLIGHT OF THAT PELICAN AND ITS’ FORLORN CHANCES FOR SURVIVAL. AGAINST ALL ODDS, ITS’ CREATOR BROUGHT IT TO SAFETY,ALLOWING IT TO FULFILL ITS’ DIVINE PURPOSE OF CATCHING MORE FISH.

CAN YOU REALLY BELIEVE THAT WE ARE LOVED LESS BY THE LORD?

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Most will agree that, weather-wise, it’s been a bitch of a summer. I drag my butt when the temp rises above eighty. So who am I to add my voice to the chorus of complaints?

Even took a hiatus from blogging. Turned out I had a legit reason for apathy and lethargy; my hemoglobin count, normally 13, had plunged dangerously to 6.4, this condition caught only when blood work was required for a prescription renewal. So after the transfusion of blood from a couple of healthy donors my count shot up to 9.2; my anemia annihilated.

It was an instant new lease on life!

 If you have been following this series of blogs, titled ‘Leap, and the Net Will Appear” you know that the early ones appeared pre-HuffPost on my blog site, http://uniqueu.xanga.com

This is the latest in the series, the theme of which makes a case for courage - i.e. - being willing to risk with faith, knowing that rescue will arrive in a timely fashion – that is, in the nick of time!

THERE IS AN ELEGANT NETWORK OF UNKNOWABLE PROCESSES AND SYNCHRONICITIES BEHIND APPARENTLY UNEXPLAINABLE EVENTS, EVEN MIRACLES, WHICH SEEM TO OCCUR SPONTANEOUSLY, LIFTING US FROM THE GRASP OF SEEMINGLY CERTAIN CATASTROPHY.

IN ORDER TO GAIN PERSPECTIVE AND REPLACE WORRY WHEN A CRISIS ARRIVES, I HAVE LEARNED TO VIEW LIFE’S ROADBLOCKS FROM THE VANTAGE POINT OF AN UNINVOLED WITNESS.
(WHICH I THINK IS THE MEANING OF THE ANCIENT ADMONITION THAT WE SHOULD BE “IN THE WORLD BUT NOT OF IT”)
Derived from Sufi teaching

THE DAY AFTER RETURNING HOME FROM THE HOSPITAL, MY TECHNICAL ADVISOR, JUAN, AND I WERE POSTING A BLOG TO HUFFPOST- HE HAS ACCESS TO MY COMPUTER - WHEN, ON THE BACKSTAGE SITE, I NOTICED AN INVITATION TO BLOGGERS TO PARTICIPATE IN A NEW WEBCAST FEATURE WITH GOOGLE HANGOUT  CALLED HUFFPOST LIVE. WE WERE ASKED TO SUBMIT A LIST OF TOPICS ABOUT WHICH WE WERE PASSIONATE.

I RESPONDED AND RECEIVED A PROMPT REPLY THAT I HAD BEEN ENTERED IN THE GUESTBOOK AND WOULD BE NOTIFIED WHEN A TOPIC OF INTEREST TO ME WOULD BE SCHEDULED.

WHICH TURNED OUT TO BE THE NEXT DAY.

NOW IF THIS INVITATION HAD ARRIVED BEFORE MY ANEMIA WAS DIAGNOSED AND REVERSED, THERE IS NO WAY I COULD HAVE ACCEPTED THIS OPPORTUNITY. HOW’S THAT FOR TIMING?

ISN’T ITAMAZING THAT DIVINITY INTERVENED TO MAKE SURE I COULD PHYSICALLY UNDERTAKE THIS NEW AND UNFAMILIAR VENUE?

THE FORCE MUST HAVE BEEN WITH ME BECAUSE I WAS SOON INVITED TO PARTICIPATE IN ANOTHER SEGMENT, THIS ONE FROM HOME USING SKYPE TECHNOLOGY. TO CUT TO THE CHASE THERE WERE CHALLENGES WITH THE SOUND AND MY OFFICE LIGHTING LEFT ME IN THE DARK. SO MUCH FOR PERFECTION. IT GOT DONE AND WORDS DIDN’T FAIL ME.

Now words of praise and appreciation for the staff at HuffPost who are running this show. These young people are so professional, respectful and innovative that my initiation, which held a potential for anything to go wrong - and things did – turned out OK. Even my super-critical baby boomer son thought I nailed it, and I got a tweet from a woman who caught one of the two webcasts and agreed with my remarks!

STARDOM!!!

Well, not quite. Stars get paid enough for their expertise that they can well afford a freebie appearance for a good cause now and then.

I have been in volunteer payback mode to the community since 1993 when at age 66, I founded a non-profit organization, SuitAbility (originally Suited For Success [1993-2000], partnering with the DOE (Dept of Employment) and STRIVE (a Harlem based training facility) to assist welfare women and at-risk youth attain or regain a measure of self esteem and self sufficiency.

Now at age 85 I have no question about my worth to society or my ability to function as role model for an aging, increasingly youth-oriented culture.

THOSE IN CYBERSPACE OR ELSEWHERE MUST REALIZE THAT SPOKESPEOPLE WHO ADVOCATE FOR THEIR PEER GROUP REQUIRE FINANCIAL COMPENSATION.

I AM CONFIDENT THAT AT LEAST ONCE MORE IN THIS LIFESPAN

– AND THE SOONER THE BETTER –

– DIVINITY'S SAFETY NET WILL APPEAR. THANK YOU. -

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 TO VIEW PARTS 1-5 OF THIS SERIES USE THE LINKS BELOW:

LEAP AND THE NET WILL APPEAR: PART ONE

LEAP AND THE NET WILL APPEAR: PART TWO

LEAP AND THE NET WILL APPEAR: PART THREE

LEAP AND THE NET WILL APPEAR: PART FOUR

LEAP AND THE NET WILL APPEAR: PART FIVE

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Heat waves for me equate to hibernation. I stock up on staples, have a long soak, get into a gauze gown, turn on the AC and go to Hollywood via Turner Classic Movies or Netflix.

My usual fare is something frothy and escapist like “Gigi” or “My Fair Lady” so don’t ask why I recently watched “Alexander the Great” and “The Tudors.”

Unless – unless – present day politics are so derivative of past scenarios of greed, betrayal and destruction that I needed somehow to exorcise both past and present catastrophes in order to position our current crisis in context as part of a familiar cavalcade.

ALEXANDERS’ MOTHER SAW HIM AS A GIFT FROM MT. OLYMPUS, A GOD UNLIMITED BY HUMAN FOIBLES. AS PLAYED BY AN AS YET UNRAVISHED RICHARD BURTON, THIS WAS BELIEVABLE. IT WAS SIMILAR TO HOW WE SAW JOHN KENNEDY – LARGER THAN LIFE.

JONATHON RHYS MEYERS, PLAYING KING HENRY III, CARRIED THE SAME CHARISMA AS ELVIS PRESLEY, AN AMERICAN ICON WHOM MEYERS PLAYED TO PERFECTION IN THE MINI-SERIES “ELVIS”.

EXALTED LEADERS REQUIRE FLAWED FOLLOWERS TO SUSTAIN THE ILLUSION OF HOPE IN THEIR WORLDS OF HYPE AND HYPOCRACY.

Having lived through the holocaust as an American child born into a small town Jewish family, the massacre taking place in Europe had little if any direct reality in my experience – beyond a smidge of anti-Semitism which, not “looking” Jewish, I largely escaped.

My own religious interests were non-existent until as a young adult new to New York City, with its multitude of intellectual and cultural possibilities, I gravitated toward alternative spiritual teachings.

So what else is new?

Well, for one thing, living in my privileged cocoon, I had closed my mind and heart in denial of much of mankind’s unfortunate history. Only gradually did my judgments diminish in the realization that if others could do better, they would not remain frozen in subconscious self destructive lifestyles and programmed behavior.

A FRIEND OF MINE, ALSO A MOVIE BUFF AND SPIRITUAL EXPLORER, SUGGESTED A DOCUMENTARY AVAILABLE ON NETFLIX THAT SHE THOUGHT WOULD BE OF INTEREST.

THE FILM, CALLED “PAPER CLIPS”, POWERFULLY PRESENTS A PROJECT UNDERTAKEN BY TEACHERS IN A SMALL BLUE COLLAR COMMUNITY IN RURAL TENNESSEE, TO DEMONSTRATE THE MEANING OF THE HOLOCAUST TO MIDDLE SCHOOL STUDENTS.

AS A GRAPHIC ILLUSTRATION, THEIR INTENTION WAS TO COLLECT SIX MILLION PAPER CLIPS, EACH TO REPRESENT THE SOUL OF AN INDIVIDUAL VICTIM. THE PROJECT GROWS FAR BEYOND ITS’ BOUNDARIES, BRINGING UNDERSTANDING AND BONDING, TRANSCENDING PREJUDICE AND BRINGING LOVE AND TOLERANCE TO THIS UNLIKELY COMMUNITY.

IT IS A TRUISM THAT WHATEVER IS RESISTED PERSISTS AND PROBABLY INTENSIFIES AS WELL.

SO HISTORY’S HORRORS, FAR FROM PASSING INTO OBLIVION, INCREASE IN BITTERNESS AND HATRED, UNLESS OCCASIONALLY REASON IS REACHED. ONE ONLY HAS TO LOOK TO IRELAND AND ENGLAND TO BE GRATEFUL FOR THE EVENTUAL END TO DECADES OF HOSTILITY AND FINALLY PEACEFUL RESOLUTION.

IN A RECENT BLOG, “A ROCK AND A HARD PLACE”, I DESCRIBED THE FUTILITY OF FORCE AS A VALID NEGOTIATING TOOL. IT IS THE UNFORGIVING HEART OF MAN WHICH MUST YIELD OF ITS OWN ACCORD TO THE HEALING POWER OF COMPASSION AND FORGIVENESS.

IF SUCH DISPARATE GROUPS AS ELDERLY JEWISH SURVIVORS OF ONE OF THE CRUELEST EVENTS IN THE CIVILIZED WORLD CAN TRAVEL TO AMERICAN REDNECK COUNTRY, REACH OUT AND HUG KIDS WHO COULD BE THEIR GRANDCHILDREN IN RESPONSE TO A PAPER CLIP PROGRAM, THEN - JUST MAYBE –

THERE MAY BE FORGIVENESS AND SALVATION FOR US ALL.

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